Don’t ask don’t tell

 From a friend:

It is my long- and deeply-held belief not only that baseball is more important than religion, but also that it is an abomination to support the Red Sox. I am not alone, either. In fact I think that is the majority view in the armed forces.

And yet, I still am required to serve with those openly supporting the Red Sox. I have to write their FitReps with a completely blind eye to what I see as a glaring lack of judgment and morals. I am forced to share living quarters and shower facilities with them, even though I find “Red Sox Nation” tattoos to be patently offensive. I don’t want the government to tell my children it’s OK to be a Red Sox fan.

This is a real morale and unit cohesion issue. My beliefs are constantly being steamrolled and ignored to accommodate a slim minority of service members. But I still show the tolerance that I am required to by law.

Don’t try to sweep aside or marginalize my views, or diminish my legitimate faith by saying it doesn’t count or shouldn’t matter. The services were founded on the principles of baseball. Just look at Yankee Stadium on a Sunday.

Comments

[pc]

I can't quite tell what you're doing with your hands...either you're about a half second away from tossing a gang sign, or you're subtly directing all the camera's vibes squarely your way. Which is it?

Also, how did Yankees fans feel in 2004? Obvious pissed about the crushing loss to the Sox, but aside from that, about them winning I mean. Were you just angry, or was it something of a relief that they wouldn't be able to whine about the curse all the time?

[Noel Maurer]

Regarding your first question, don't ask don't tell. Besides, it was 16 years ago. What I can tell you is that bicycle + yellow sports walkman ≠ cool, especially in the South Bronx.

Regarding the second, I felt some hope that Red Sox fans would become less rabid. Losing four in a row was too pathetic to produce anger. For lasting anger you'd have to go back to the 1997 ALDS; the 2001 series came close, although I have since learned to view it as a poetic tragedy.

Anyway, that hope about Red Sox fans? Unfulfilled.

[Jonathan]

Noel, you weren't that uncool. The picture is from 2002 or 2003, and the bike wasn't yours; it's mine. You may take full responsibility for the yellow sports headphones, however.

[Noel Maurer]

That can't be right -- I'm wearing that dumb little Limp Bizkit beard, which I shaved with gret fanfare at the turn of the millenium. And the headphones!

But if it from '99, well, then I'm really embarrassed. Excusable things at 24 are not at 29. Caray.

NM

[Jonathan]

Nope. It can't be 1999. Maybe 2000. I suspect someone retouched the photo to add the facial fungus.

[Noel Maurer]

Retouching isn't likely, mano. I found the physical copy while cleaning out my closet, among other photos ranging in time from high school through the (I think) late '90s. That's a scan of a yellowed 4×6 up there.

2000 can't be right, can it? That's the year my mother passed away; I wasn't in NYC until August, and you remember what happened after that. Thanks once again, by the way.

Even '99 seems too late, but I'll take your word for it.

Let's take this to email; I can't imagine a debate about the age of an old photo is interesting to anyone else.

Although it is hella interesting to my wife.

[Noel Maurer]

For those of you who care, we have consensus. The photo appear to have been taken in August 2000. For those of you who know me, August 2000 is an extremely unlikely date for me to have been trying to look like a teenager, considering what had just happened, but my high school friend Jonathan had convincing evidence. He also wrote:

“Your mimetic powers are far stronger than you think, however, and I can envision you making a happy face while feeling down in the dumps, just to correctly capture the 80s-Stanley Isaacs Houses spirit.”

Word. I think. Although that'd take us all the way back to 1983.